So what has come between us? RG and I were a happy couple. We still are, only till we are alone together. But there is so much that comes between us: home, family, issues... I know we would be perfect if we were living somewhere far off, had our friends and work. But living with unhappy pessimists rubs on to us.
I try to spend as much time away from home as possible, because I don't feel I belong here. And RG knows it. He knows that there's no way his folks and I can be family. And he knows too that I have tried, tried enough to change that. But like they say in Hindi, taali ek haath se nahi bajti (you can't clap with one hand)!
Does that change anything? Does RG respect me for trying or does he loathe me for failing? Either way, he knows his mind: moving out is not an option. Not for him.
I loved my family and was ready to love his too. But it didn't turn out like that. I could love them more if I did not hate them so much for coming between RG and my happiness. Or for weighing their tears with our joys, for killing the child in me, for forcing me into a life I never wanted.
My tears and sadness are not reasons enough for RG to still think we could make a home away from here. I know we can. I know we should for the children we haven't had yet. Would it amount to ingratitude to his parents if he, the son of the family, moved out?
RG believes he's the joy in his parents' life.
And my life? What of that?
I try to spend as much time away from home as possible, because I don't feel I belong here. And RG knows it. He knows that there's no way his folks and I can be family. And he knows too that I have tried, tried enough to change that. But like they say in Hindi, taali ek haath se nahi bajti (you can't clap with one hand)!
Does that change anything? Does RG respect me for trying or does he loathe me for failing? Either way, he knows his mind: moving out is not an option. Not for him.
I loved my family and was ready to love his too. But it didn't turn out like that. I could love them more if I did not hate them so much for coming between RG and my happiness. Or for weighing their tears with our joys, for killing the child in me, for forcing me into a life I never wanted.
My tears and sadness are not reasons enough for RG to still think we could make a home away from here. I know we can. I know we should for the children we haven't had yet. Would it amount to ingratitude to his parents if he, the son of the family, moved out?
RG believes he's the joy in his parents' life.
And my life? What of that?
5 comments:
u r D right, the other blog let me be rt.
@Ashu: What makes you think that(?!) because I'm not. Yes, she is a very good friend and linked me up to divert some traffic to my blog when it was new. But really, what made you say that?
if u r not, then i apologize. i wud appreciate if you lend me some apologies and update this space with quicker frequency
hmmm the idea of a joint family never really appealed to me.. specially in early years of marriage, a couple needs space and no intrusion. once in a while is okay but living day in n day out with people who do nothing but harm the relationship is tough.
i have a friend going through something somewhat similar to this.. so i can understand. not easy
difficult situation that is...how life turn out like that...we never know...appreciate ur initiatives thr...coz all what one can do is..to initiate ...start from thr own sides, but what can one do when the others turn out to be stone cold...
dishrtning it is...to loose...to let go...
hey...btw...happy diwali,,,,may this festival bring joys and happiness to ur life...
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