Friday, May 8, 2009

And it goes on...

I don't know what to make out of these out-of-the-blue bits of news that come travelling to me that my husband may be going around with another woman. I spend most of my day with him and I cannot understand when he would have the time to go and meet another woman. Of course, if we wants to, there are a thousand pretexts to do that, but would he be so vain as to attempt something that would malign his reputation if he were spotted with somebody? He swears and promises to me there's nothing and just when I start believing in him, something springs up to make me want to be suspicious again. Perhaps there are friends who are trying to help me just now but if I continue to be in denial, they may decide to stop and let me live in my fool's paradise. But then again, there are friends who tell me to make nothing out of such rumours - "gossip" they call it. My instinct? What use is it because it oscillates this way and that till I'm just a bunch of confused nerves. I sometimes think I could hire a detective to look up RG, but if there's no base to these rumours and if RG gets to know I did something like that, he would be devastated. Yes, I still give him the benefit of doubt because I don't have any proof to hold against him. It's just his word against others'. Whom should I believe? Would you believe in your husband or would you believe people you don't even know?

33 comments:

Stray said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Stray said...

I think one's spouse has cheated on them the moment one is convinced in one's head that the spouse has... it doesn't matter whether the spouse has actually cheated or not or has the intention of doing so. Jealousy typically stems from a person who lacks conviction about their abilities when faced with certain adverse circumstances; its just another form of insecurity. One don't need evidence of any sort to decide whether or not one loves a person and/or wants to give the relationship her all. And its perfectly alright for a relationship not to work out despite one giving it her all.

If I were placed in such a situation, I would completely ignore the rumours unless they were substantiated. And if they were, then I would have a heart-to-heart with my spouse and lay out my concerns. Whilst I would like to achieve a resolution, I would never seek to draw any lines in respect of my spouse. As a person, I could never impose boundaries or my way of thinking onto someone. When faced with an issue I am uncomfortable with, I will deal with it with a lot of thought and discussion with the concerned person(s), even if it means severing the relationship.

My suggestion would be you make your best attempt to stop yourself from thinking negative thoughts. If the relationship is not going to work out, it isn't; and that's OK. Life still goes on and the beauty in it still exists. It would be a matter of time before you think positive thoughts and again perceive the magic that is Life.

P.S. - Please contemplate visiting with a counselor at the earliest, with or without your spouse. They help put things in perspective.

John Doe said...

I have been following your blog for quite some time now. I had been logging in with a different name else you would have recognised me.

The thing is this, I have just come out of a relationship marred by extreme suspicion and jealousy. A relationship that could have been the most beautiful thing in both our lives. And the real bummer is that this jealousy was totally unfounded.

So my suggestion. Ignore these rumours. Trust. Until the day you have conclusive proof that he has been cheating on you.

I know it is easier said than done.

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