Darling,
For the last few years of my life I've trusted you more than I could have trusted myself. Believed in you and your lies blindly, not ever thinking they were lies at all. But now things have changed. And I'm not so sure about us. I would want to still believe in you, but you are not helping me. You are not helping me at all!
I don't even know if I can believe my eyes anymore. And if I were to take your word for it, they don't see the truth at all. Should I believe what you say darling? Why is your truth so different from mine?
And why are you doing this to me? It's not a game anymore. It's my life you are playing with. And I have no way of telling you to stop because you don't know how you are messing up my mind. But my love isn't innocent now.
I hate to be thinking about life after us is over. And I wonder if things are really so bad for me to be thinking about this? Because you won't accept they are and I can't deny they aren't. I don't know if I should fight for your affections again or just let you go. And I don't know if you will let me go! But why would you want to hold on to me? Am I worth the pain? What is it that makes it so difficult for you to tell me the truth?
Perhaps, you still love me (?)
Yours,
--------
For the last few years of my life I've trusted you more than I could have trusted myself. Believed in you and your lies blindly, not ever thinking they were lies at all. But now things have changed. And I'm not so sure about us. I would want to still believe in you, but you are not helping me. You are not helping me at all!
I don't even know if I can believe my eyes anymore. And if I were to take your word for it, they don't see the truth at all. Should I believe what you say darling? Why is your truth so different from mine?
And why are you doing this to me? It's not a game anymore. It's my life you are playing with. And I have no way of telling you to stop because you don't know how you are messing up my mind. But my love isn't innocent now.
I hate to be thinking about life after us is over. And I wonder if things are really so bad for me to be thinking about this? Because you won't accept they are and I can't deny they aren't. I don't know if I should fight for your affections again or just let you go. And I don't know if you will let me go! But why would you want to hold on to me? Am I worth the pain? What is it that makes it so difficult for you to tell me the truth?
Perhaps, you still love me (?)
Yours,
--------
13 comments:
Luv SUX...Letz be out of it..
Ashish
www.coolashish.co.nr
Hmmm...
pretty thoughtful.
very moving.
sincere.
i dunno,this kinda was different from what i normally read.
Well written.
Linking you up,if that doesnt bother you.
@Ashish: I think some part of me is already out of love.
@Mihir: Thanks for the well written bit. This is my life. And you're welcome to link up to it.
i think it was tennyson who said - it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
makes me wonder whether tennyson really loved anyone in his life.
the loss of love is nothing short of an amputation.
i will not pretend to say that i know what you are going through. only this, you get some succour at the end of it all.
Good thoughts. Leave love, its not worth anything.
I was a blogger till I realised I was only playing to the gallery. First time I saw someone making use of this space to some end.
@Superunknown: And my marriage?
@Anony: Yeah, it helps to know someone understands.
You're lucky you have words for support in a time like this. Imagine, being plagued with these fears and not being able to give it a shape - for yourself or others. It's nice to be able to form an abstract pain into something that can be felt and shared by others. Keep at it.
When love is not worth anything, then how would a marriage be ? Love is the major major component of any marriage, when it has left uou, then its not worth staying in a bad marriage and hurting yourself for a loser who doesnt bother to feel about your feelings.
Experience suggests one sided love always results in guilt, pain and horrible horrible self. And though marriage dissolution is aghast (too less a word to describe pain), but whatever happens,, it does for good. Staying in a bad marriage is a curse to the soul, let alone the person.....
i dont have words to utter.
i will say - m moved.
frind the way u have posted ur post.
photos and content are goes stright.
m speechelss.
if u dont mind .
i iwll link ur blog.
Ya, your feelings really touched my soul and sometimes i wonder how people take us for granted. Those who have no emotion and feelings for someone who loved so much. I have also started a blogsote: http://cupboardlover.blogspot.com plz visit once and post ur comment
Idlethoughts: I loved every moment of being in love. So Tennyson was right in a way.
Anonymous1: Oh yes, words give me great solace, even more when those who read them understand my feelings.
@Superunknown: You're right - a loveless marriage causes more hurt than it does good. To anyone.
@Falcon: For a speechless person, you said a lot of words! Go ahead, share my pain, link me up.
@Rishi: Will do so.
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